Dating & Approaching: Don’t Let Your Tools Get Dull

In: Dating Advice| approaching| confidence

9 Sep 2010

I get emails everyday with a “thanks” here, a “you rock” there, and my favorite: “Ruben, it WORKED!”

It’s all part of the plan. Racking up the dates, boosting your confidence, keeping a healthy social schedule, fine-tuning your pickup craft, and so on. When you finally saw the light, and began with the fresh drive to hook women, your energy was able to move mountains. Assess yourself. If it is still gyrating at that high level, you can sit back and enjoy it… for a moment.

A true expert always works on his craft. Just as the sun rises and sets, you too will have a sunset. By the time that hooking women starts to become second nature, and not just a game of strategy, you might not notice that your approaches need some brushing up to keep them fresh and interesting. You are a master at picking up women, not a scripted actor. If your local bartender can recite your game word-for-word just by observation alone, switch it up. Don’t worry, by no means does this imply that you have to start all over again and test new approaches in the field.

Take your current approaches and run them through this checklist. If you consciously take a look into your game, you’ll see where you might need some freshening up.

1. Are you giving her the subtle air of mystery and keeping her on her toes? Or have you started to become a complete tool that appears he doesn’t care for anything — or worse, looks like he’s hiding something?

2. How are your juggling skills? Are you skillfully alternating the women you are dating and giving each of them your undivided attention when you are with them (and by “undivided attention,” I mean full focus to work your game)? Or are you getting sloppy appearing like your mind is always elsewhere because you cannot handle all of them? Remember, too many distractions throw you off your game.

3. Does pulling the “sense of humor” card evoke a cute reaction from her? Or are you the only one laughing at the joke that only YOU understand?

4. Even the old-school players know that there is always space for chivalry. We like you to be cocky because it shows confidence and gives a woman something to chase. Is your act sustaining in the “confident and cocky” category, or has it fallen down to “rude and chauvinistic”?

5. Are you having fun playing the field? Or are you having LOTS of fun playing the field? That was a trick question. Either is acceptable.

Tags: behavior to avoid, confidence, Dating Advice

Ruben Banks

Dating & Approaching: Don’t Let Your Tools Get Dull

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Ruben Banks

Dating & Approaching: Don’t Let Your Tools Get Dull

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