"Ahh, a World Cup fan too? 2 points!"

This method is tried-and-true, and I have many members who implement this playful style into their online pickup:  The Point System.  Whether you’re trying to get a woman to qualify herself to you, or you’ve hit an awkward moment where she hasn’t responded, The Point System is a fun way to move the ball back into your court, online and even offline.

It’s simple too.  Women – especially the HOT ones – tend to believe that they have the upper hand with men who are interested in them.  Well, there might be some truth to that depending on the dude, but that’s beside the point.  Not you, right?  If you’ve ever learned anything here and from any other material you’ve read in the past, the key to getting HOT females is having her pursue YOU.

You can start implementing it early on in your phone or IM conversations, each time she mentions something to qualify herself to you.  “You cook? Noooooo. 5 points for you!  Wait, women BS way too much, I’ll have to see it to believe it — so, 2 points.”  “Whatever, I really can!”  “Ah, 1 bonus point for confidence.”

Set a bar, and keep it fluctuating. “3 points not bad… Rarely do women ever get to 15. I’ve only seen it ONCE.”  This way, you’ve created a game of sorts.  A game where she’s going to continue to qualify herself, and face it, women are competitive.  If ONE chic made it to 15, why can’t she?

If you’re in the position where she hasn’t responded to you over email or direct messages — say, about her phone number — instead of looking like the creepy, desperate dude, you have some leeway to go ahead and send her a follow-up message without losing any face.  “I allllllmost gave you 4 points for that cool photo you posted, but a -3 for leaving me hanging with an awkward silence LOL — so, 1 point. Awesome pic, thank God for that, huh! haha.”  By doing this, you’ve re-opened communcation, and your conversation can return to its normal tug-o-war — AND you got the number.

This game can go on and on.

Never give points on beauty, and if you do, do it sparingly and in a clever way.  You don’t need to inflate her ego.  The only time I can think of giving any points on beauty, is when you’re comparing her to another hot chic. “Believe it or not, guys watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show too.  Some of the hottest women in the world.  Adriana Lima?  Yeah, she’s a beauty……………..  You have a sliiiiiiightly prettier pout than her though, so you deserve half a point.

Other things you can give points on:  knowlege of sports, knowledge of alcohol, athletic skill, cooking, book smarts, and pretty much anything cool — even if it only means she’s exagerrating and you can tell.  If she’s even trying to exagerrate at all, give YOURSELF a few mental points – you’ve got her trying!

Give her points, then knock some off.  Keep it going back and forth.  Some things you can issue negatives on:  bad jokes, awesome things she can do which you haven’t “seen for yourself” yet, liking a rival sports team, and pretty much anything you’d probably knock your buddies for.  Keep it light and fun.  Good part is, in the future, you now have a “game” that you two can relate to.  If she throws something at you, you can playfully sling back: “Oh come on! Says the girl who lost points for liking the Celtics!”

Your photo album should consist of carefully selected shots that tell a story about yourself.  You’ve heard that a “picture is worth a thousand words.”  It better be saying the right words.

One of my readers sent me a message saying that he’s been doing everything right… sending those one-liners, cool profile photo, etc… but his results were not as great as he expected.  I checked out his profile, and indeed he had the right posts, nicely-crafted bio, and all that — until I checked his photo album.  The “story” his profile told was that of a sorta-nerdy, sorta-sarcastic, yet way cool dude to be around, who seemed to have a lot of female friends as well.

His photo album said the opposite.

In his “Mobile Uploads” album, there were at least 5 bathroom self-portraits posted, shots which looked like they were taken mere minutes of eachother.  And in each, he is gazing into the camera lens.  That might work with women, but not you, guy.  I’ve learned that solo photos of guys, where he is not looking directly into the camera, fare better than those which he is.  It creates an action, even if it is simply a distraction.  It lends character.  And when your profile is working for you, even when you are asleep, you need to build all the character you can.

We’ve already established that action photos – where you are photographed playing a sport, or doing something cool -are necessities.  But what about photos taken when you are out and about?  Sure, you’ve got a photo of yourself taken at your favorite bar.  You’re wearing your favorite shirt.  And yeah, you even like the way your facial expression turned out.  Without seeing any part of the background, that could have been taken anywhere (including your basement).  That photo does not tell a story.  Now, if you posted the one that was zoomed out a bit where the woman can get an idea of where you were at, that tells a story.  If there were people there, especially hot women, they make grand fixtures to any photo’s background.  That too, tells a story.  You see where I am going with this.

What kind of story your photo album tells is entirely up to you.  But make sure it tells one.  Your words are a powerful tool in the game of online pickup.  But you’ve heard the saying, “photos or it never happened.”  You seem interesting, you sound interesting, but you’ve gotta play the look too.

Your Facebook friends list should contain both “filler” women, and “women of interest.”  If you go on to add a “woman of interest,” and you have very few friends on your list, you might get rejected.  There are a lot of women out there who will just add you for the hell of it, usually the model types who are looking for more of a make-shift fan base than a connection.  Add them, the numbers don’t hurt.  Add “normal” girls as well — go through your buddies’ friends lists and send an add request to every decent (6s and 7s are OK) female that you also happen to know, but are not necessarily interested in.  Adding DJs or promoters of various clubs are also a good idea.  Not only do they add everyone, they will also become an instant “mutual friend” with thousands of hot women.

Now that you’ve adequately supplied your profile with enough filler women, you can get started on your quest for women whom you will actually WANT to make a connection with.  Go back to your buddies’ friends lists… you can find them in there.

You may now begin your adding spree.  On Facebook, there is a space to include an optional message.  Do not leave this blank with a complete stranger, as that will minimize your chance of her adding you.

Pick any subject of interest off of her profile.  Do you mutually like skydiving?  Add her and include “Skydiving = craziest rush ever.”  Or is Guns N’ Roses a common interest?  Include “GNR! A woman that knows what GOOD music is.  Wow.”

The short message will increase her comfort level, as you are tapping into one of her interests.

It’s all part of the plan.  Racking up the dates, boosting your confidence, keeping a healthy social schedule, fine-tuning your pickup craft, and so on.  When you finally saw the light, and began with the fresh drive to hook women, your energy was able to move mountains.  Assess yourself.  If it is still gyrating at that high level, you can sit back and enjoy it… for a moment.

A true expert always works on his craft.  Just as the sun rises and sets, you too will have a sunset.  By the time that hooking women starts to become second nature, and not just a game of strategy, you might not notice that your approaches need some brushing up to keep them fresh and interesting.  You are a master at picking up women, not a scripted actor.  If your local bartender can recite your game word-for-word just by observation alone, switch it up.  Don’t worry, by no means does this imply that you have to start all over again and test new approaches in the field.

Take your current approaches and run them through this checklist.  If you consciously take a look into your game, you’ll see where you might need some freshening up.

1.  Are you giving her the subtle air of mystery and keeping her on her toes?  Or have you started to become a complete tool that appears he doesn’t care for anything — or worse, looks like he’s hiding something?

2.  How are your juggling skills?  Are you skillfully alternating the women you are dating and giving each of them your undivided attention when you are with them (and by “undivided attention,” I mean full focus to work your game)?  Or are you getting sloppy appearing like your mind is always elsewhere because you cannot handle all of them?  Remember, too many distractions throw you off your game.

3.  Does pulling the “sense of humor” card evoke a cute reaction from her?  Or are you the only one laughing at the joke that only YOU understand?

4.  Even the old-school players know that there is always space for chivalry.  We like you to be cocky because it shows confidence and gives a woman something to chase.  Is your act sustaining in the “confident and cocky” category, or has it fallen down to “rude and chauvinistic”?

5.  Are you having fun playing the field?  Or are you having LOTS of fun playing the field?  That was a trick question.  Either is acceptable.

She already has an idea of how you look, and what you might be like. You’ve created an expectation, and vice versa.  Within 60 seconds of meeting her, if you don’t play your cards right, all that rapport you had built up online and by phone will have gone to waste.  Imagine if you’ve been building up sexual tension with a woman, then you finally arrive at her doorstep for the first time… and she greets you with that day’s lunch stuck in her teeth… or dirty nails… or her toenail polish is all whittled and funky.

One word for her:  Unkempt.

Two words for you:  Grossed out.

Lucky for us, women are more conscientious about how they look, and more often than not, their first impression is that of a lasting one in our minds.  But on the flip-side, you’ve got to be sure you don’t screw everything up in the first 60-seconds.  Yes, it only takes 60 seconds to repulse a woman.

You don’t need to be armored in a 3-piece suit.  If you’re a T-shirt and jeans kind of guy, she already knows that.  So wear your best T-shirt and jeans.  If it’s a beach date and you arrive in flip-flops, be sure your toenails are cut and clean.  If you’ve decided to take her to a nice dinner, see to it that your button-up shirt isn’t wrinkled like it’s been neglected in the back of your drawer for a year.

It’s all common sense.  Bad hygiene is usually the culprit of sour first impressions.  If you can’t successfully get past this first 60 seconds in her mind, you better believe you won’t be getting that kiss goodnight — or anything further for that matter.

Like they say, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Look presentable.  It’s not a “b*tch thing” to do.  You have the rest of the evening to get to know eachother more – and hopefully the rest of the night and the next morning as well!

Other than looking like you have zero confidence, below are the 3 Dealbreakers that men often mistake as “smooth.”

1)  Too much cologne
2)  The “Favorite” (yet food-stained) shirt
3)  There is no such thing as a “fashionably late” guy

1. Time

Instead of telling yourself you fucked up, or that you will never meet another woman like your true love, tell yourself this proven fact: time heals all wounds.  It is something my dad used to say.  When my dad died, I couldn’t even talk about him without getting emotional.  Three years later, I smile when talking about him and can enjoy it.  The longer you can will yourself to go without talking to, online stalking or seeking out your true love, the easier it will be to move on.

2. Lack of Contact

Erase her number, adjust your Facebook settings so that you don’t receive updates about her and don’t email her.  I once drowned a cellphone on purpose because I knew in my vodka-soaked state I would call her.  Yeah, I had it bad.  Either way, this will work to your advantage.  If you don’t contact her then eventually one of two things will happen: She will miss you, wonder why you haven’t reached out and contact you.  Alternatively, you will never hear from her again, in which case, she isn’t interested and you must move on.

3. See Other Quality Women

The emphasis here is on quality.  There are millions of women in the world who are equally attractive, funny and interesting as your true love, but you are so hung up on her that you can’t see them for who they are.  Read my project: YOU post, and dedicate your energy to YOURSELF.  Once you feel better about yourself, you will attract all the wonderful women that you have been too distracted to notice.

4. DISCLAIMER:

If your true love has feelings for you, then stop playing games and make her yours.  In my case, the feelings weren’t mutual, which is why I developed this system for curing my one-itis.  But I would never discourage you from experiencing a loving relationship with the one woman you can’t get your mind off of!  If you truly believe that she is the one, and she believes that you are the one, then what are you waiting for?  Hang up your gaming suit and congratulate yourself that you don’t have to sweat in bars over women anymore.

I like that one because not only am I being clever but tossing the mom in there makes you look like your close with your family, another thing women look for.  Song lyrics can be good too as long as they’re not too cheesy.  “I wanna hold your hand…” is a good example of playing that card.  Another solid idea is to appeal to the “bad boy” side that we know women love with a headline like “…the guy your mother warned you about.”

Another good one I use is “Not Safe for work…”  Now for some serious no-no’s…

Hi

“Now come on!  Is that really the best you can do?!”  …Is what’s going through a woman’s mind when she sees that headline.  Even if you don’t want to be funny or make a show of things, “hi” is not going to work for you-neither is hello, whassup! or howdy.

Giving it a try

I figured why not

I’m going to lie when people ask how we met

All three = EPIC FAIL.  Guys, women are already vulnerable about being on a dating site, they don’t want you to be that way, too.  When a woman stumbles onto your page you want her to get excited and want to contact you because your energy and vibe speak to her.  This headline says you are an unhappy guy who ran out of options in the real world and turned to online dating as a last resort.

Wookin por Nub

Only saw it once, but once is enough to tell you guys…NO.

Guys, What is scarier in your mind: Jumping off a 20-story building or approaching this woman at a club?

I’m pretty sure you all agree that it doesn’t get scarier than approaching a gorgeous woman you noticed out somewhere.  This is known as approach anxiety and is evident in 98% of all men.  As a victim of those “cure your approach anxiety” scams I can tell you that it isn’t something you can get rid of like a zit.  After years of going to clubs and bars, getting rejected more than a few times, I can tell you from my personal experience how to get on the fast track to taming it.

First off, going out with a group of guys helps.  You guys can support and encourage each other to make moves on girls-cue the peer pressure.  My friends and I have a game where one of us is “it” and buys the first round of drinks.  This guy now has to have a 5 minute conversation with at least 10 women, and he drinks on us the rest of the night.  I was “it” 6 weeks ago when we went to NYC and ended up talking to more women because of it, and getting several phone numbers.

My number one tip is to approach a girl who is at the bar, and simply say, “Are you going to buy me a drink?” with a smile on your face.  She will immediately laugh and boom, you’re in.  Don’t buy her a drink at this time though.  Wait until you’ve talked for at least 20 minutes.  If she gives you the cold shoulder then she is probably a b%^&$ who takes life too seriously-and trust me you don’t want those women in your life anyways.

No matter how hot the woman is, they all want the same thing, for a guy to make them laugh.  Take the line I gave you, use it in the bar (works in any line where you’re going to purchase something) and remember to smile.  From there, you want to keep things interesting by making statements about her and occasionally leaving the conversation right after you’ve made her laugh, only to find her again 5 minutes later.  This will keep her on her toes, and wondering where you keep running off to.

The hardest part for me about approaching hot women is the first 10 seconds. After that you will either start talking to the girl or realize she is bitchy and move on.

Once you’ve set up your profile in maximum attraction form and are ready to reach out to the multitude of hot women on Facebook, it’s time to get creative.  Take 15-20 minutes on a lazy afternoon, go through your extensive and ever-growing friends list on Facebook, and “poke” 20 hot women, 20 “cute” women and 20 women you would hook up with after a few beers.  Now you’ve poked 60 girls.

When a woman sees she has been “poked” on Facebook she will go straight to your profile and look at your photos.  If he likes your photo she will read a little about you and glance at your wall to see what she could be getting into.  A poke is basically like saying “Hi I think you’re cute” without all the beating around the bush and buying her any drinks.

If she pokes you back, she’s interested.  Poke her back.  Let this continue for a few days then when you catch her online chat her and say “What’s with the poking? ”  The wink face is crucial here because you’re overtly showing her that you are teasing her and flirting right off the bat.  From here you want to pace her (wait a full minute before you respond to her chat) and after 4-5 minutes say you’re heading out but you will text her later-what’s your number?”  Simple as that.  Ask as though you expect her to give it to you.

Boom.

We have all heard the expression people only want what they can’t have,” right?  Well it’s the truth!  When a girl responds to your texts or calls within twenty seconds, and is consistently free when you ask her out, she becomes unattractive-at least to me-no matter how hot she is.  I start wondering if there is anything else in this girl’s life.  Now, when a woman takes hours to respond to my texts, and doesn’t return my calls?  I want her.  I want her bad!  It’s one of those tricks that you have to keep up your sleeve if you want women to chase YOU.

When you first get a woman’s number, text her right then and there.  “Hey who is that hot guy standing next to you -Ruben”  ALWAYS put your name-the chances of her saving the number increase, plus you made her laugh right off the bat.  So now she has your number.  Wait 2 days to call her, if you leave her a voicemail then start pacing her right then and there.  My pacing rule: Take the amount of time it took her to respond to you and double it.  Texts, phone calls, any of the above.  Now the ball is in your court and she is wondering why you aren’t calling her back.  Guys, this is exactly where we want them.  The more she thinks about you and stares at her phone awaiting a response from you the more attracted to you she is becoming.

It only takes a few times of really being strong and having willpower to see that these results are true.  Give it a try the next time a woman you want reaches out to you and watch your mystery build, and her attraction along with it.